Before I Was Yours
by Revhead
Summary: Before they swore their allegiance to Prince Arthur at the Round Table, their loyalty had already been earned by the servant at his right hand. From the POV of Lancelot, Gwaine, Percival, Guinevere, Gaius, and finally Merlin himself. **UPDATE** Upon request (though belatedly delivered) a second chapter has been added with Arthur's POV.
1. Before I Was Yours

**Before I Was Yours**

_-:-Lancelot-:-_

Before I was yours, Prince Arthur, I was Merlin's.

I saved him before I knew him, seeing a young man alone and in peril, and never once have I had cause to regret what I did.

He offered me the hand of friendship long before you did, and he was so open, so genuine, so honest in the offer that I could not help but accept and return it in kind.

He recognised my worth long before you did, and was so eager to let it be known to others that he dared to approach you on my behalf, trying to help me to achieve my dream.

He made me believe in myself and my abilities when I was ready to give up, and lent me the courage to pursue my ambitions.

If it were not for Merlin, you would never have given me a second glance, or the chance to prove myself.

If it were not for Merlin, we all would have been slain by the Griffin, our noble intentions and finely honed skills laid to waste and Camelot brought to ruin.

I saw what he did that night, and he feared my knowledge would be his undoing.

But I could never harm Merlin.

He earned my steadfast loyalty with his humble power, his quiet strength, his hidden courage, all masked and yet not so by his gentle, earnest, caring, generous, mischievous, and above all friendly nature.

He helped me to see you for the good man you are, and the great king you will someday be, but before you had my respect, Merlin did.

I defend you, Prince Arthur, first and foremost because Merlin defends you.

Merlin would give his life for you without a moment's hesitation, and I would give my life for him. So I can let no harm befall you, for the risk that it may fall on him first as he stands determinedly in its path, ever vigilant in your protection though you remain unaware.

I stand here and pledge my allegiance to you, and you should know that every word is sincere.

But I would not be here if it were not for the unassuming servant by your side.

Because before I was yours, Prince Arthur, I was Merlin's.

_-:-Gwaine-:-_

Before I was yours, Prince Arthur, I was Merlin's.

I did not know who you were when we first met, for if I had you would have been left to the trouble you earned. I had grudging respect for the way you stood up to that thug, but I was more intrigued by the skinny character you had with you. You looked as though you could handle yourself in a fight. He did not. Yet though he might have quailed a bit in the face of those odds, he did not abandon you. More surprisingly still, he held his own.

There was something about him. The only friends I had before Merlin were always of a temporary and drunken nature, but I found myself opening up to this boy. His earnest face, his easy smile, and his willingness to take care of me when I was utterly wasted all warmed me to him. He joined in my punishment for the drinks bill without complaint, and we shared in the pain of losing our fathers.

I have never known anyone like him.

No one before Merlin has ever earned my loyalty.

You may have been a close second, but it was Merlin who helped me to see beyond your exterior as an arrogant prince to the good and truly noble man that lay beneath.

I have risked my life on many occasions, but rarely for a good reason, and never really for anyone in particular. I did not think there was any man worth dying for.

But I would die for Merlin, and I know he would do the same for me. He would do it for anyone, but you most of all. I wonder if you realise.

I stand here and pledge my allegiance to you, and I will fight for you willingly.

But I fight, in large part, more for Merlin than for you. That boy will charge into battle at your side, just like he did on the day we met, and I would like to be able to protect him, if I can. Falling short of that, I will protect _you_, because keeping you safe is what Merlin wants more than anything else in the world.

And so the man who never stays in one place for very long, skipping out of town when he no longer fancies the trouble to be had, never venturing deeper than casual acquaintances or alliances of convenience, will be loyal to you.

But before I was yours, Prince Arthur, I was Merlin's.

_-:-Percival-:-_

Before I was yours, Prince Arthur, I was Merlin's.

I made a friend in Lancelot many months ago, and we fought together, travelled together, trusted one another. I respect him, and his opinions.

He told me stories of a far off city, and of a boy there who had set him on his current path. The tales captivated me, for I could picture the scrawny young man who fights to save others without ever asking for recognition or glory in return. Without ever meeting him, I shared in Lancelot's admiration for the lad.

For so long I have been a slave to revenge, thirsting for the blood of Senred and his men in recompense for the loss of my family. My motivations were always selfish, driven by hatred. But I hear of a boy who has not my skill or strength, yet selflessly defends others anyway at great risk to himself.

Lancelot received a summons from this boy, and his response was immediate.

I came with him to this place, to you, partly because I knew it would give me the chance to come up against Senred's army.

Mostly because I wanted to meet this Merlin, and perhaps learn from him what it means to struggle and fight for a cause beyond vengeance, for a reason that is worthy and honourable and just.

In person, he is just as Lancelot described. There is nothing knightly in his appearance, nothing in his exterior to suggest that he could be strong enough and courageous enough to fight for a kingdom.

There is something in his eyes, though. Some inner strength and determination coiled up tightly inside him, waiting to be released when the time is right.

You give a good speech, Prince Arthur, but it is the man at your side who gives me hope – for us, for the future, for myself. I cannot work out why it is, exactly, but though I do this for my family, for Lancelot and for you... I also do it for him.

Because before I was yours, Prince Arthur, I was Merlin's.

_-:-Guinevere-:-_

Before I was yours, Prince Arthur, I was Merlin's.

Not romantically his, not really, although there might have been something of a crush between us at the beginning.

But we were friends long before you ever deigned to notice my existence. I was just a lowly servant, and you were the stuck up son of the king. To be honest, you were so arrogant, lording your position over everyone and treating those beneath you with such disdain, that I did not care much for you at all. I did not think I ever would, because I did not believe you would ever change.

And then Merlin came along. He stood up to you, and he was the first person I had seen who would dare to do so. He won my admiration that day.

As time passed, Merlin proved himself to be a good friend. He saved my life, he supported me, he helped me out when I needed it, and he _noticed_ me.

More than all of that, though, was the effect that Merlin had on you.

He changed you, Arthur. I had thought that when you became king we would be no better off than we were under Uther's reign, but once Merlin became your manservant I began to see the changes in you. They were slight and reluctant at first. Your stubborn nature meant that you resisted him, but Merlin drew out your goodness slowly but surely.

He has helped to make you the man you are today.

If it were not for Merlin, I doubt you would be the same person I have fallen in love with, and I doubt even more that you would have been able to overcome your prejudices to fall in love with me in return.

I owe Merlin so much, and so I would do almost anything for him.

You should know that I love you with all of my heart.

But before I was yours, Prince Arthur, I was Merlin's.

_-:-Gaius-:-_

Before I was yours, Prince Arthur, I was Merlin's.

I have been your physician your entire life. I have treated your sicknesses, healed your wounds, and cared for your health. You and your father have always had my sworn fealty.

But it is Merlin that I am loyal to, first and foremost, because I have come to love him. He is like a son to me.

I had no idea, when that bumbling young boy strolled into my chambers that day, what an impact he would have on my life.

I know him well, perhaps better than anyone. I have seen his flaws and his weaknesses, I have witnessed his struggles and his hardships. I have tried to teach him, to impart to him some semblance of knowledge, and I have watched him grow into a wise and selfless young man. He is not perfect, by any means, but he has learned so much, and achieved so much.

I am unbelievably proud of him.

I know of his great destiny, and how it is so intricately intertwined with yours.

I would have supported you anyway, but I know just how important you are to Merlin and his future.

He has done, and will do, anything for you. I know what he has been through, what he has sacrificed for you. I know that he lives in fear of the day that you will discover his secret, even though all he has ever used it for is protecting you.

This time will be no different.

You will not realise it, but it will be Merlin who turns the tide of this battle. Merlin who saves the day once again. It has been Merlin who pushed you to do the right thing and fight for Camelot even though you have been wounded so by Morgana's betrayal. Merlin who gives you the strength and will and ability to continue on.

You do not know, but I do.

I am not sure what help I will be to either of you, but I cannot leave Merlin to face this on his own.

Because before I was yours, Prince Arthur, I was Merlin's.

_-:-Merlin-:-_

I am yours, Prince Arthur.

You take it for granted that I will support you, and so I respond to your expectation with jest. You pretend that I have no choice, but I know that if I truly wished to withdraw you would let me. You are really very overprotective of me sometimes, especially since I am only your servant, and you are the crowned prince of Camelot. I am supposed to be the one to protect you, yet you have saved my life more than once.

At first I felt I was being dragged, kicking and screaming, toward a destiny that I did not want. I thought you were an arrogant prat who would make my life miserable, and I could not believe my misfortune when I was lumped as your manservant by Uther and your defender by Kilgharrah.

The first time I saved your life, it was reflex.

The next few times, it was semi-reluctant duty.

I do not know when it was exactly that I embraced my destiny whole-heartedly, or when I realised how much I would actually miss you if you were to die. I still do not even really know why I am so certain that I would lay down my life for you.

I do not think I wish to face a world that does not have you in it.

I know that I have been deceiving you, and you do not know who I really am. I fear how you will react when you find out; I worry that I will be one to add more betrayal to that which haunts your eyes now. You might well decide to have me executed when the truth comes out at last.

I am powerful. More powerful than you could ever possibly imagine. I could kill you so easily.

I could defend myself if you ever came after me.

But I wouldn't.

If you sentenced me to death, and killing you was the only way to save myself, I would not lift a finger. I would submit to the flames, though with deep regret and a heavy heart.

I could never hurt you.

I will join you in this battle, and I will help you take back your kingdom from your foes. I will risk my life, and do everything within my considerable power to preserve yours. I know what Camelot means to you. I am proud of you for being willing to take this stand, though you do not have the knowledge that I do to have true hope for success.

Someday you will be a great king. I hope I am there to see it.

If I am not, if this is the end, I will meet it without reservation.

Because I am yours, Arthur. Always yours.

_End_


	2. If Not For Merlin

**If Not For Merlin**

If not for Merlin, Lancelot would not be here.

He pledges his allegiance to me, and I know he means every word he says. But I was not the one who summoned him here. The thought never even crossed my mind. Our situation was dire and we had a severe shortage of allies, but it never occurred to me to seek help from beyond our borders.

It was Merlin's idea. He didn't even run it by me first; he saw the need and he took the initiative. Thanks to his efforts, I gained not one, but _two_ soldiers and they arrived with perfect timing. The rock fall that Lancelot and Percival caused saved our lives.

I like to think that Lancelot came for my sake, for the reasons he describes now. But truth be told, Lancelot has taught me more about what it means to be a knight than I taught him. He is not of noble birth, but he has a noble heart. He is unselfish, brave and loyal. He once saved Camelot, despite the fact that my father had banished him from the city. He saved Guinevere when she was abducted and could have easily won her heart, but denied himself when he realised I had feelings for her. And he comes to Camelot's aid now, even when to fight for her is a suicide mission.

He is willing to lay down his life for me.

But I know that before he was mine, he was Merlin's.

Merlin was the one who befriended him. Merlin was the one who gave him the chance to display his skills as a knight – though how he obtained such a perfect forgery of a seal of nobility is still beyond my understanding. Merlin defended him when the truth came to light. I get the sense, too, that there is something more between them, some secret they share. Merlin seems more at ease when Lancelot is around, almost as though he finds it easier to be himself around him. Why that may be, I do not know, but the bond of friendship between them is undeniable.

The evidence stands before me. Merlin called, and Lancelot answered.

I may be the future king, but if not for my servant, Lancelot would not have come.

Looking around the room, I realise that those who stand before me now are my most loyal subjects. They do not give me their loyalty out of duty. Somehow, miraculously, I earned it.

And I owe it all to Merlin.

Gaius is Merlin's guardian. He has been my physician since I was a child, but a blind man could see that he loves Merlin as a son. There are not many old men in Camelot who would set aside the limitations of age to bear arms in the defence of their city; they would believe they had done their duty and the mantle was now passed from them to the young and able-bodied. Gaius is no soldier, but I have no doubt that if I asked it of him he would pick up a sword.

Only, he wouldn't be doing it for me. He would fight to protect Merlin, and he is here because Merlin would not leave him behind. I would not have sought out the physician to treat my wound. In all honesty, I could have forgotten him as worry for my father overtook everything else. I would have pushed my body beyond endurance and then collapsed in a useless heap if not for the treatment Gaius gave me, and now Gaius is standing there telling me he is willing to help if I can find a use for him. I have no doubt that he will be needed. In the battle for Camelot there are going to be casualties, and I know of none better than Gaius to care for the wounded who return. Many of my men already owe Gaius their lives, and many more will before this battle is through.

The physician's help will be invaluable and I should have anticipated the need for his skills. But if not for Merlin, he would not be here.

Merlin cannot exactly be credited for the fact that we stumbled across Gwaine in the slaver's prison. Fortune must have smiled upon us; how else could you explain the miraculous fire that facilitated our escape from that place? But the truth remains that Gwaine is not sticking around, risking his neck in a fight we have no chance of winning, for my sake.

He's here for Merlin. I don't know what it is about that kid, but he attracts the strangest of company. Gwaine is a drifter. He has visited almost every tavern in the five kingdoms and he has drunk himself into so much trouble that he would probably be dead dozens of times over if he wasn't so handy with a sword. He is a riot to be around, for sure, but he doesn't seem to have many friends – except for Merlin, that is.

Gwaine will fight in my name, but I know that in truth he will be fighting for Merlin. I see the way he is with my servant; the easy camaraderie, the unreserved grins, the jokes, the extravagant tales he tells for Merlin's entertainment and the hugs he gives so freely. Most of all, I see how protective Gwaine is of him. Gwaine has joined me on two quests and now he will charge into battle at my side, but I can tell he is not worried for my safety. He's looking out for Merlin, watching his back, and protecting me because that it what Merlin asks of him.

Gwaine is a skilled swordsman and I am lucky to have him. But if not for Merlin, he would not be here.

As for Guinevere… incredible as it may seem, and I still have to pinch myself sometimes to make sure I am not dreaming, I seem to have her heart. I do not know what I have done to deserve the love of a woman so beautiful, courageous, kind-hearted and wise, but I know I am fortunate indeed that she returns the feelings I have for her. I know my father would never understand how I fell in love with a servant, but I have thought on it often and I think I can trace it back to Merlin.

Before I met Merlin, servants were useful only for the duties they performed and occasionally for a laugh at their expense. Then that bumbling idiot came along and changed my whole perspective. He was incompetent, clumsy and irreverent, but somehow, even when scrubbing my floors, he stood up to me as an equal. He taught me that I was no better than anyone else just because I was of royal birth, and he showed me that a servant can have incredible value far beyond their station. He opened my eyes, and in doing so he also enabled me to see Guinevere in a new light. Not to mention the fact that he was her friend first and the only reason she allowed me to stay in her home during the jousting tournament was because Merlin asked her to. Once I realised I was in love with Gwen Merlin even helped me woo her. Oddly enough, despite his complete lack of experience, he's not half bad at romance.

Someday Guinevere will be my queen. She does not have to say the words; I know where her loyalty lies.

But if not for Merlin, she would not be here either.

I have her brother's loyalty by extension. In fact, Sir Leon is the only person around this table who I am certain was loyal to me first and even he has grown overly fond of my servant.

It is a humbling realisation, but the people I trust most in this world are standing here in this room, and almost all of them are here because of my servant.

I owe more to him than I had ever imagined.

And then there is Merlin himself.

He is a peasant boy who grew up in a small village beyond Camelot's borders. I was not his prince, but he became my servant. Truth be told, he did not seem particularly cut out for a life of servitude. There is something about him, something I could never quite put my finger on, but I have always had the strange feeling that he is not a man who could be forced to bow.

Merlin stood up to me the first day we met. No one had ever done that before. I chalked it up to ignorance, but even once he knew who I was he was not cowed. He has continued to display the same irrepressible spirit; he teases me, insults me and is not afraid to call me out if he thinks I am being an ass. He behaves more like an equal, like a friend, than a servant. When he bows, I know it is a choice – one he does not feel compelled to make. He could leave my service if he wanted to. Heaven knows I've given him enough reasons – throwing goblets at him, overloading him with chores, yelling at him and endangering his life more times than I can count.

But no matter what I do or say, Merlin always stays by my side, steadfast and loyal to a fault.

We face an army of men who _cannot die._ When we enter Camelot tomorrow, the odds of survival are next to none.

Merlin is just a servant. There is nothing in his job description that says he must ride into battle with his master, and certainly not as a member of a suicide squad.

But I have no doubt he will. Merlin has proven more than once that he is willing to lay down his life for me.

I do not have any idea what I could have possibly done to earn his loyalty. I'm a prat; he said so himself.

All I know is that I trust Merlin more than anyone. He is the person I confide in. He is the only person who I allow to see me at my weakest and most vulnerable. He is the person who has witnessed all of my mistakes. He is the person who has heard all of my doubts and fears. He is the person who knows every single thing about me, the good and the bad, and accepts me just the same. He is the person I seek counsel from. He is the person I can always count on for sympathy and support. He is the person who understands me. He is the person I would choose above all others to have at my side when embarking on a dangerous mission even though he is hopeless in a fight. He is the person I rely on to always have my back.

More than any of that, Merlin is my friend.

Morgana's betrayal should have crippled me. Merlin gave me the strength to stand. He gave me the courage to face her. It makes no sense, because we are surely doomed, but Merlin even gives me hope for victory.

He is the last to stand, and I find myself needing to hear what he has to say. Merlin always says exactly the right thing. I am sure he will say something deep or profound or inspiring.

"No, I don't really fancy it."

And with those simple words, Merlin brings a hint of levity to the situation. The burden of asking these people to die for me eases just a little, and despite everything that has happened I am able to smile.

I know I didn't have to ask. Merlin will be with me until the very end.

Merlin pretends that he does it under duress, but when he stands he offers me a small nod.

I can read his meaning as clearly as if he had spoken aloud.

_I'm yours, Arthur._

If not for Merlin, I might not have the courage to see this through.

But with Merlin by my side, and with this circle of loyal friends that Merlin has gathered to us, I am no longer afraid.

Whatever tomorrow may bring, we will face it together.


End file.
